This is the first of my "From The Vaults" series. It's a collection of old scripts that I never ended up making. Some of them I was rather fond of while some of them (particularly my earliest works) were kinda pathetic...
I did this script a
while back and just found it while cleaning out my computer's memory the
other day. Thought people might enjoy reading it, because I probably
won't ever be able to film it. It was an
informational video inspired by my time serving on the McHenry County
College Student Senate, but with characters inspired by the cast of "The
Office". Obviously we wouldn't have used the actual "Office"character names,
but when writing the script, this was easier to keep track of who was
supposed to be who. I should also point out some lines were "borrowed" from my friend Carl's senate promo videos that we actually did shoot. He did a much better job explaining the jobs of the president and other roles better than I could have... I was lazy and I hope he won't be too mad at me... :S
Student Senate “The Office” Spoof video
-
Open on the hallway outside the board room. JIM is standing by the door
alone, but after a second the camera pans left to show DWIGHT walking
down the hall towards him.
DWIGHT: What’s the matter is the door locked or something?
JIM:
You didn’t hear? Michael sent out an email about a half-hour ago saying
that the Board of Trustees was going to be using the board room today.
We’re meeting down in A113 this morning.
DWIGHT: I didn’t get any email…
JIM:
I think he forgot to copy you on it. You’d better get down there
though. Michael said he wanted you. He has an urgent matter that only
his Vice-President can solve.
DWIGHT: Say no more.
DWIGHT
dashes away down the hall. The camera cuts to another hallway to see
DWIGHT running towards a stairwell as fast as he can. The scene cuts
back to JIM, who looks at the camera and smiles mischievously. Cut to an
“interview” shot of JIM.
JIM: (smiling) There was no email sent out this morning.
RUN
OPENING CREDITS. After credits, the scene shows the board room with an
establishing shot of the front table. President MICHAEL is sitting in
the center of the large table in the front of the room. To his right is
Vice-President DWIGHT and to his left is PAM the secretary, who has her
laptop out in front of her. To DWIGHT’s right is ANGELA the treasurer.
To PAM’s left is Student Trustee TOBEY. JIM sits on ANGELA’s right,
leaning back in his chair as though bored. To TOBEY’s left is ANDY, who
is wearing awkwardly bright colors. The camera zooms in from the
establishing shot of the table onto MICHAEL. It stays there for a few
seconds before cutting away to an “interview” shot of MICHAEL.
MICHAEL:
My name is Michael Scott, and I am the president of the Student Senate
here on campus. This is the place where students can learn how to be
leaders of their student organizations. I think I am a great president
because I am friend first, president second. I want everyone to have fun
in Senate, and everyone leaves with a smile on their face. You may ask
me, “Michael, what qualities make you a good president?” To which I
reply: “Which ones don’t?”
MICHAEL
smiles. The scene cuts back to the head table. The camera pans from
MICHAEL to DWIGHT, who is busy making sure a row of pencils in front of
him are perfectly straight. Cut to an “interview” shot of DWIGHT.
DWIGHT:
My name is Dwight K. Schrute, and I am the Vice-President of the
Student Senate. As Vice-President, I have the second most amount of
authority. It is my philosophy that the second in command is the most
important, because he takes what his sensei says and makes sure it gets
done. I’m also in charge of all the committees in the senate. I came up
with some of them myself, but unfortunately Michael didn’t go for a lot
of them. Like the Samurai Security committee. I think it would make us
feel a lot safer if we had samurai patrolling the hallways keeping vigil
over us.
The scene cuts back to
DWIGHT straightening the pencils. The shot zooms in close on the
pencils. A second after he gets them just right, someone kicks the table
and they get messed up again. The shot tilts up to show DWIGHT’s
surprised, disappointed, and annoyed face. The camera swish-pans over to
show JIM, still laid back in his chair. He looks at the camera again
with a smug look on his face. Cut to an “interview” shot of JIM.
JIM:
I’m Jim, and I am a club representative. The majority of Student Senate
consists of club reps. Basically what we do is report to the senate
what the club is doing, and vice-versa. We also are the ones who present
our clubs’ funding proposals to the senate. I didn’t really want to be a
club rep at first because it meant getting up early to be at school
before 8:00 every Friday morning, but then I found out that I get six
credit hours worth of tuition reimbursed… and I actually ended up liking
the company…
The scene cuts
back to JIM at the table as he’s saying the last line in the interview.
In the table shot, the camera shows JIM winking over at someone over to
the left. The camera follows his gaze and stops on PAM the secretary.
She is smiling and trying not to laugh at JIM. The camera zooms in
slightly to show her face more clearly. Cut to “interview” shot of PAM.
PAM:
My name is Pam, and I’m the secretary. It’s my job to write down
everything that happens in the meetings so that we have a record of what
we do to present to our advisor. I keep track of contact information,
meeting minutes, and individual attendance.
The scene cuts back to the Table. MICHAEL clears his throat.
MICHAEL: Okay, it is 8:00, so I think it is time to get started. What’s first on our agenda?
He looks at the agenda in front of him.
MICHAEL: Okay, looks like first up is the President’s opening remarks.
He smiles and addresses the room.
MICHAEL: Hello everyone and welcome back to student senate.
The
camera pans around to show the rest of the room. A few other club reps
are sitting in rows of chairs facing the front table. None of the club
reps say anything. The camera pans back to MICHAEL who clears his
throat.
MICHAEL: Tough crowd… Anyways, another
week of Student Senate, another week of fun. We are pleased to welcome
back our advisor, Jan.
The
camera pans back over to the chairs facing the table. In the back is an
adult woman with a clipboard on her lap, watching the table intently.
Cut away to an “interview” shot of Jan.
JAN: I am
the advisor for the Student Senate. It’s my job to make sure that
everything they do is within the senate guidelines. Recently, I have had
to miss the last couple meetings, so I’m really hoping Michael hasn’t
made a mess of things while I was gone.
Cut back to the front table. MICHAEL looks back at the agenda.
MICAHEL: Next up is a review of last week’s minutes. Over to you, Pam.
He
holds out his hand towards PAM, as though introducing her to a large
crowd. PAM is looking at MICHAEL out of the corner of her eye, either a
little embarrassed or just annoyed at the way he’s acting, but is used
to it. She clears her throat.
PAM: Last week, clay
club presented a funding proposal for $806 to build a Pit Firing Kiln.
Senate voted and approved the amount of $550. After that, we discussed
changes to the constitution, but then Michael became bored with the
subject and we played Risk for the rest of the time and plotted the 9-11
for China.
As PAM is saying the
last sentence, MICHAEL gets a look on his face like he knows he’s about
to get in trouble. The camera pans over to JAN, who is looking shocked
and annoyed at MICHAEL. The camera pans back to MICHAEL, who has the
same expression on his face. He clears his throat.
MICHAEL: (quietly)That wasn’t supposed to go on the record, Pam.
Cut to an “interview” shot of PAM.
PAM: Jan told me specifically to write down everything Michael was doing in detail while she was gone…
Cut to an “interview” shot of JAN. She shakes her head.
JAN: I should have known better.
Cut back to the table. PAM holds out the agenda.
PAM: Next is the Vice President’s opening remark.
DWIGHT stands up promptly and without wasting any time starts talking.
DWIGHT: Thank you, Pam. Today I want to emphasize professionalism. Namely, when it comes to your cell phones…
The shot pans to JIM, who his holding back a laugh. Cut to an “interview” shot of JIM.
JIM:
I know why he’s talking about this. Last week, Dwight left his cell
phone on the table when he went to the bathroom, so I did the only
sensible thing and went into his contacts and changed my name to “Mom”.
Then I started texting him during his opening remarks.
Cut back to the table. DWIGHT is continuing his remark on cell phones.
DWIGHT:
… I think we should all pull out our phones before each meeting, turn
them all off, and set them on the side table so that no one can be
messing with them while we are in our meetings. That is all. May we vote
now?
MICHAEL: What?
The
camera tilts down from DWIGHT (who was standing) to MICHAEL (who was
sitting) to show that he has his phone out and is playing “Words with
Friends”. Cut back to the table. PAM reads off the agenda again.
PAM: Next on the agenda is the Trustee update.
TOBEY is about to stand up, but MICHAEL shakes his head.
MICHAEL: No, no. We don’t have time to listen to Tobey’s boring voice for a half-hour.
TOBEY looks at the camera with a sad-sack face and sits back down. Cut to an “interview” shot of TOBEY.
TOBEY:
My job as student trustee consists of connecting the Student Senate
with the board of Trustees and updating them about everything that’s
going on…
Cut to an “interview” shot of MICHAEL. He has his arms folded and a sour look on his face.
MICHAEL:
I hate Tobey. He is such a Debbie Downer. He never lets me do anything
fun during meetings, and when I do get to do something fun, he goes and
tattle-tales on me to the Board of Trustees.
Cut back to the table. MICHAEL picks up the agenda and reads off it.
MICHAEL: Looks like we have a funding proposal from The Speech Team. Alright, Andy, you’re on.
The camera pans over to ANDY, who stands up.
ANDY: Okay, so as you all know, the speech team got first place in the state championship, and we’re going onto nationals.
There is a smattering of applause.
ANDY: As you can see on your funding proposal hand-outs…
(the camera zooms out to show that everyone is looking at a bundle of papers that PAM is handing out)
ANDY:
…Speech team is requesting $742 for accommodations as we travel to
nationals. This amount includes lodging for two nights, entry fees for
our seven competitors, gas money, and food.
MICHAEL: Alright, the floor is now open for discussion.
ANGELA raises her hand.
MICHAEL: Angela?
Cut to an “interview” shot of ANGELA.
ANGELA:
I am the Student Senate treasurer. It’s my job to make sure clubs get
their approved money and to make sure funding doesn’t run out. Recently,
Michael has been approving full amounts of money to the clubs, and I’ve
been trying to convince him to be a little more conservative in this
respect. Money doesn’t grow on trees…
Cut back to the table. ANGELA looks up from her hand-out.
ANGELA: How many fundraisers has Speech team done to earn their own money to pay for this?
ANDY:
Well, we did the Brunswick bowling fundraiser a few weeks ago, and we
did the Murder at the Masquerade show last month where we also sold
masquerade masks. All together that brought the cost down $1635.
Several people nod their heads. PAM raises her hand.
PAM: I motion to approve the full amount.
Cut to an angle that shows both DWIGHT and JIM. They both raise their hands and talk at the same time.
DWIGHT and JIM: I second.
DWIGHT: No, I second.
PAM: I think Jim was first.
DWIGHT: (brings his fist down on the table, frustrated.) Ugh!
MICHAEL: Let’s put this to a vote. All those in favor of giving full amount?
Several people raise their hands. The camera pans around to show them all before panning back to MICHAEL.
MICHAEL: All apposed?
ANGELA and a few others raise their hands.
MICHAEL: Stanley, you didn’t vote.
The camera pans around to show a black student who is doing a crossword puzzle and not looking up at the meeting.
STANLEY: Leave me alone.
MICHAEL: I’ll take that as an abstaining vote.
PAM: So all together that was 12 for, 4 against, and 1 possibly abstaining…
MICHAEL: Motion passes, you’ve got your funds.
ANDY sits down as the scene cuts to an “interview” shot of MICHAEL
MICHAEL:
Yeah, Student Senate is really a place where you gain amazing
experience. It’s not all about giving clubs money when they want it.
It’s about… bettering the school’s outlook. We can really make a
difference here on campus. And I’m proud to be part of it.
The
shot cuts to black, but then cuts to a shot of a hallway where JIM and
PAM are sitting at a small table facing the camera. Both of them are
smiling and trying not to laugh. Some vending machines are behind them
and DWIGHT walks up to one of them and starts looking at what they
contain.
PAM: (loud enough for DWIGHT to hear) So you think you heard someone talking about forming a secret committee to overthrow Michael and Dwight?
DWIGHT glances over his shoulder at them. The camera zooms in on him.
JIM:
Yeah… I couldn’t tell whose voice it was though. All I heard is that
they are going to be meeting by the pond by the sports field today at
9:30.
PAM: Wow… that’s so hard to believe… but it makes sense.
The
camera zooms back out and shows JIM and PAM, still with their backs to
DWIGHT and trying not to laugh. DWIGHT takes a deep breath and walks
away from the vending machine casually, even though he didn’t get
anything. The scene cuts to the pond. DWIGHT is hiding behind a tree,
waiting for someone to show up. The camera pans around show JIM and PAM
hiding a short distance away, watching him and giggling.
The End.
