MST3K remake: a crazy dream, but a dream none the less

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I don't know what I'd be getting myself into, but I seriously would love to do a Mystery Science Theater 3000 remake. I am serious here, too. I may be just a amateur film maker, but I very much would want to do it.

 

 As far as I can tell, the fanbase from MST3K has never died out. There are still thousands of fans out there, who would crave to see the Not-To-Distant Future again. I am one of them, and I do crave it. This is a show that lasted ten seasons and made a total of 197 two-hour shows (without commercial signs, hour and a half) AND a full-length feature film! Not many television shows make it that far, including the popular ones. Whether you liked Joel or Mike better as the host, or if you preferred the Mads over Pearl, Bobo and Brain Guy, you can't deny the show was something special. In 2007, it was included on Time Magazine's list of 100 Best Television Shows of All-Time. The show has even been referenced (albeit subtly) on the popular TV series, "The Office". (season 3 episode 23 "Beach Games", Michael jumps out of the bus onto the sand, turns around and shouts "WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES!!!", one of the show's biggest recurring gags inspired by the 1962 movie "Eegah" featured on MST3K season 5.)

I've seen the behind-the-scenes video they made in the Season 8ish period for the show, and I have a good understanding on how the show was made. It's all very simplistic, and any remake would have to be just as simplistic, just as cheesy to make it work. They themselves even said that they were using real film-student level techniques to achieve the theater segments (a Chroma effect, which I have done some experimenting with in the past). I also understand the hardships they went through righting the scripts for the theater segments, making sure that they synced up with the film and were delivered at just the right moment. The puppets were made with regular house-hold items, and puppeteered using PVC pipes and fishing wire. I do admit, I'm baffled as to how they made Crow's eyes move, but I understand the mechanics behind the mouth and head.

One disadvantage (or possibly an advantage for a remake to put a fresh spin on them) is that some of the house-hold items used to create the 'Bots aren't in production anymore. Servo's head was obviously made out of a candy dispenser that is still in production (as far as I know) and Crow's head of a bowling pin, soap dish, hockey mask (also heard it said that its a lacrosse net, but I'm not sure), and some ping-pong balls. I'm also told that most Crow's pieces that make up his body aren't in production anymore, so it might just be easier (and cheaper) to style your own Crow body for a remake. Gypsy is another matter. I'm not entirely sure what she is made of, but I think it might be a length of pipe, a large flashlight, and an upside down child's car seat. I would also guess that Gypsy would be top-heavy, so I assume there must be some kind of counter-weight down below. Cambot is really no biggie, really. His appearance changed every new theme song video from the KTMA era episodes, to official season 1, to season 2, then again in season 5. Plus, he was never on-screen very much if at all. It would be easy to make a new cambot puppet.

^ this video give excellent examples of how the PVC pipes were used to control the heads.

http://www.mst3kguy.com/Bots/BotsTop.htm - this website list pieces used to make replica 'Bots.

There are still plenty of bad movies out there. They make more of them every year, and in some cases, Hollywood hasn't gotten any better! Some films are just asking for the MST3K treatment. And another reason I think doing a remake of MST3K would be fun and cool is that it's a new generation. While most of the jokes on the original show are still hilarious to this day, some jokes go over the younger viewer's heads. My father and brother have had to explain some of them to me in the past, and I typically understand most of the riffs. Updating the commentary on some new film would be a great way of bringing this beloved television show back to life.

As always, budget is a key factor. I'd figure it would be best to pay homage to how cheesily done the original sets and such were. That was part of what made the host segments funny. Sure, update them a little, but not that much. The biggest coup would be to get the rights to the show, and to a movie to make fun of. That wouldn't be cheap at all, even if the movie is a piece of crap. At first I thought, would a kickstarter get anywhere near close enough to make a decent attempt? Then I read that when the original 16mm film workprint of the infamous "Manos: The Hands of Fate" (a legend amongst MST3K fans everywhere) was discovered and a guy raised 48,000 dollars on kickstarter to remaster it. If he could get that amount of support from fans of MST3K (and let's face it, how many of them were fans of the movie on its own?), then how much could be raised for the actual show itself?

Again, this is just my wishful thinking that I could remake the show. I know it will probably never ever happen, but you've got to have ambition if you're gonna make it in the film business, right? Never give up on your dreams. Maybe some day, I will be able to fulfill this hopeless fantasy... but for now, it remains just that: A fantasy.